At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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