I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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