Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
