Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize