I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
