Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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