just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
