Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
