PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
