She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
BRING THE BAGELS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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