So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
