Please don't use social media to get back at me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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