just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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