why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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