Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
