I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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