I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
