you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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