awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
