I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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