Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
