:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
