my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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