It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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