We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just wanna soil my oats bro
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
