Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
