did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
