i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
