too bad you live with your parents still
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
