Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
