a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize