Got a toothbrush?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
