I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
