I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
