That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
