He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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