Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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