i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
a search helicopter?!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
