The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
