You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
