break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize