Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize