This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
