So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think your dad took our porno
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
