every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
