So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
