school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
