So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
