i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
third nipple confirmed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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