dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize