Im at strip club and am horny
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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