my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
