But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
