I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
