I need help removing her.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
