Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We are all done wearing pants today
lol hangovers are for mortals.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
