We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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